John Black Kay
John B. Kay, was born February 18, 1909 in Sweetwater Wyoming, and was the youngest of five children. John was named after his mother's favorite brother, John Black Young. He was the youngest in the family and was said to be his mother's favorite.
The following as told by his daughter
Yvonne Kay Marshall
These are (edited) sections taken from the HISTORY OF YVONNE KAY MARSHALL and also her notes taken from the genealogy database files.
My parents John Black Kay and Mary Ingham Kay, met while attending Oakland Ward(of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints), and singing in the choir together. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple by Joseph Fielding Smith. His brother, James Kay, married Mary’s sister Ardell Ingham on the same day in the Temple. John’s mother (Margaret Young Kay) strongly encouraged them to be married in the Temple. They may not have done so except that she financed their trip to Salt Lake. Times were hard then and traveling money hard to find. They never would have met if they hadn't of moved out from Wyoming and Utah. I think my parents were twenty when they married. They were both within a month or two of each other's age. And they were twenty one when I was born. And that's were my mother's sister, Ardell, also met and married my father's only brother Jim. They had a double wedding and a double reception. I got to know them, this Aunt Ardell and Uncle Jim, because that's one of the families I went to live with for a while. I didn't know them socially until then because by that time my parents had moved to San Francisco, and I really didn't see much of the other family, they were across the Bay in Oakland. When I was young my father was working for Bank of America, it was apparently considered to be a very promising job. He was beginning to be invited to work in the president's office a lot in the bank. But because of that, he got in with the wrong crowd and started drinking a lot. And I can remember my father even pointing to this big Bank of America on Market street a number of times and telling me - that's where I used to work. But he didn't tell it to me in a loving way, because they let him go, and he hated The Bank of America from then on. But he was working and my mother was not, when I was very young. Although, after he lost his job and because it was depression era time, it was difficult to find work after that. |
Going back to when I was born, on May 1, 1931, (Yvonne Kay Marshall) and I was the second grandchild on my father's side of the family, but my father(John Black Kay),was the so called baby of the family, and from what I was told, was my grandmother's favorite son. And so she had wanted, and was anxious to see her first grandchild . His mother(Margaret Young Kay, my Grandma Kay, had been Relief Society president of her ward, the Oakland Ward. And she had gone out the Christmas before I was born, it was very bad weather, but she kept going out to bring things to people, especially families that were in need. From that she had become quite ill, and finally came down with pneumonia. I'm not sure how soon after Christmas this was, but she had been sick pretty much since Christmas time. I was born in May and she was living with my oldest Aunt, my father's oldest sister, Aunt Katie and her husband (James Hamilton). And then because my grandmother was still ill, they had been advised not to take the baby around her very soon. So some days after that my parents brought me over to my Grandma Kay, because she was very anxious to see this new baby, and she was still too ill to get out of bed. They took me over to see her, and the story that I'm told is that they took me into the room where she was in bed and she held me in her arms. And I guess she called me little bonnie. The Scottish name they call a baby. (It means pretty or charming) But I guess that's what she called me, and handed me back to my mother and they went out of the room to let her rest. And I'm not sure the exact time frame for all this, but then I was told when they went back into the room they found her dead. She had died. I guess it always touched me because it was quite touching to my parents I guess, especially to my father, because he realized that's all she was waiting for. That she had been so ill and ready to go and that's all she was waiting for. I don't remember this of course, but that was my first birth experience story.
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The other work he had done, was working as a broker - as well as working at the Bank of America. And being a broker in those days was not a fun thing to be. I don't know what kind of work he was able to find, but I was told it was sparse and hard to find, and the times were very difficult. For a while apparently he went back to Nevada to live with one of his sisters out there, Aunt Janet. She was a nurse in Washoe County Hospital and she was married at that time and had two children. He went to stay with her for a while to see if he couldn't find work in Reno. He thought Reno might be a good place to work. The only thing I really know about that period in his life, is what I've read from some letters that he sent to my mother while he was back there in Reno. And he would talk to her in his letters about a deal he was trying to make work with somebody, or another deal. And it sounded like he was still trying very hard to sell stocks and bonds. He was still trying to be a broker, and apparently things were just not working out well, it was not a good market. I don't know what kind of work he got out there, but I guess he got some sporadic work. I found maybe two or three letters that he sent while he was out there asking how I was, and how she was. And talking in optimistic terms that this job, or that job was going to work out, but I guess none of the jobs really worked out. It was not easy. When I was about between four and five, my father came back, and worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad in San Francisco – he worked in an executive position.
Going back to when I was born, on May 1, 1931, (Yvonne Kay Marshall) and I was the second grandchild on my father's side of the family, but my father(John Black Kay),was the so called baby of the family, and from what I was told, was my grandmother's favorite son. And so she had wanted, and was anxious to see her first grandchild . His mother(Margaret Young Kay, my Grandma Kay, had been Relief Society president of her ward, the Oakland Ward. And she had gone out the Christmas before I was born, it was very bad weather, but she kept going out to bring things to people, especially families that were in need. From that she had become quite ill, and finally came down with pneumonia. I'm not sure how soon after Christmas this was, but she had been sick pretty much since Christmas time. I was born in May and she was living with my oldest Aunt, my father's oldest sister, Aunt Katie and her husband (James Hamilton). And then because my grandmother was still ill, they had been advised not to take the baby around her very soon.
So some days after that my parents brought me over to my Grandma Kay, because she was very anxious to see this new baby, and she was still too ill to get out of bed. They took me over to see her, and the story that I'm told is that they took me into the room where she was in bed and she held me in her arms. And I guess she called me little bonnie. The Scottish name they call a baby. (It means pretty or charming) But I guess that's what she called me, and handed me back to my mother and they went out of the room to let her rest. And I'm not sure the exact time frame for all this, but then I was told when they went back into the room they found her dead. She had died. I guess it always touched me because it was quite touching to my parents I guess, especially to my father, because he realized that's all she was waiting for. That she had been so ill and ready to go and that's all she was waiting for. I don't remember this of course, but that was my first birth experience story.
My Father’s Family – JOHN BLACK KAY
My father's family(Kay's) were more physically affectionate, they were also more physically volatile, more animated. As I think of my Aunt Janet, my father’s sister that was just older than he was. She was one of these people who were either up or down, and she was very vocal. I always knew she loved me, but at the same time if I had done something wrong, I always knew I was really going to get in trouble. She was really going to spank me hard, and she used a little switch on me sometimes, on all of us, and sometimes even a belt. Aunt Janet had a very, very quick temper - she had a strong temper. She was famous for that temper of hers. One minute she was very, very loving, but she had those two sides to her - loving personality, but quick temper. I don't remember my father ever having an uncontrollable temper, but Aunt Janet did. And you never knew what she was going to say. She would say some of the craziest things sometimes. It was kind of like if you were visiting my Aunt Janet you just didn't know what kind of information you were going to come away with because there were no secrets. And if she thought something, no matter how wild it was, she said it. But everyone kind of got used to that, that was her.
My Dad Back To Church – JOHN BLACK KAY
My Aunt Janet, who was one of my father's older sisters, was not really very active in the church(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). She's the one I went to stay with in Nevada. She married a Mormon, but neither one was very active. His oldest sister, my Aunt Katie, married the Scotsman that played the bagpipes at our wedding, was not a member. So she gradually became inactive also. So the only two that were really active, was my father, (John B. Kay) and his brother, (Jim Kay.)
This happened after I was married. And I think my parents wanted to be active, and every so often they would try to go to church, but it wasn't anything consistent. And it was mainly because my father continued to have the Word of Wisdom problems, with smoking and alcohol. What I heard, was that it came about from some of the people he met at Bank of America, because they were important people. And he was put in a position where he felt he needed to impress certain people, and join in certain things they asked him to do. So as I understand it, that's when the drinking started. And it was a very addictive thing, and so was the smoking of course. But he had tried different times throughout his life to quit and leave it alone, but just hadn't been successful. It had been very difficult. (My mother picked up social drinking too, but never smoked.) So it wasn't that he didn't want to quit, I knew he wanted to, he just couldn't.
So just after our first child was born, I remember his bishop was visiting in the Palo Alto ward on a Sunday, and happened to stop me after church. He asked me out of the blue, how I would feel if I called your father on a stake mission? What do you think he would say? And I looked at the bishop and I said I have no idea. I really, have no idea. And the other thing I finally told the bishop was that, if that's the inspiration you've gotten, go with the inspiration, because I wouldn't dare say. So he did, he went with his inspiration. My father was probably forty four at the time. So the bishop went to visit with him, and the next thing I heard, was that my father had accepted the call. I believe it was the bishop that called me and told me, that he had accepted the call, and I was so surprised. I don't remember how the Word of Wisdom was handled, but I do remember that my father indicated to me that he never smoked, and he never drank after that. After he accepted the call he never ever touched another one. And the Lord knew that's what it would take. And nobody else knew, but the Lord knew. And so my father remained very active in church after that. He was in the bishopric when he died. And mother also remained very active.
After my father passed away she didn't go back to her ward. She said it was just too painful so she used to come down to our house every weekend and go to church with us. So I guess that's that story. He really loved being a stake missionary. And I remember sometimes we would visit him during the time he was a stake missionary, and he would get so excited telling us about visiting with this person and visiting with that person. Telling us how he would explain the gospel to them. He would be very excited. It was a two year stake mission call, from 1955 - 1957. He was instrumental in seeing people baptized into the church.
My Dad Passing Away – JOHN BLACK KAY
My father was around fifty six. He had been diagnosed with heart problems for some time before he died. He was taking medication and so forth. In those days they didn't really have any way to look into the heart and the vessels or anything like that. They had x-rays and EKG's. The way we think of it now, it was very primitive. He had a heart attack and they took him to the hospital and treated him. They put him on what they called blood thinners, in those days they didn't have a whole lot else to do. They assumed it was a clot that was causing the problem. The medications they had to put him on made him feel really tired. I remember that. They changed his ability to be able to taste things very well, or smell things. It was kind of a hard time for him. He was really tired a lot after that. I think he was probably diagnosed about four of five years from the first heart attack, before he died. He may have had other smaller heart attacks, I don't know. But he did go into the hospital every so often with some chest pain or to be worked up because he wasn't feeling good. But of course it didn't change the situation around.
One day when he was at work, he had to go up a pretty steep flight of steps to get to his office. And I guess he was going up the steps and the individual that was with him, said that he just suddenly crumpled. It was just very, very sudden. And he didn't have any time at all, he died immediately. He was gone. And this was at his work in San Francisco, and mother was also working (but they were living in Menlo Park). But they contacted Vaughn (Yvonne’s husband) first from the hospital, and I don't think they even told Vaughn that my father was already gone. But they wanted him to tell my mother. They didn't want to say anything to her on the phone. So I can remember he drove her up, but they went in her car. And I followed them in my car up to the city, San Francisco, to the hospital. Of course after she got to the hospital they had to tell her what happened. I can remember that was a real shock to her, I remember that very well. Vaughn drove her back home also, then he stayed with her a while. I think I may have stayed there until some of the family started calling and started coming to be with her. That was a hard time for mother. That was on February 8th 1968.
He worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad in San Francisco for about the last 20 years of his life. He was secretary to the President--an executive position. He had been very well liked by all those he worked with.
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Web Site: Marshall-Kay Family, Created October 23, 2006